If you ever feel frustrated by the seemingly intractable patterns that can cause difficulties in relationships, you are far from being alone. Wanting a happy relationship is one thing, and all too often, appears to be all about ‘the other person’ – but even when the apparently perfect one comes along, it can be hard to sustain it. All too often, differences arise that are insurmountable.
Another way to look at things, is that experiencing fulfilling relationships with others is also about being free in yourself. It’s not just with a partner that you can apply this thinking either – although that may be where you tend feel your internal ‘knots’ most strongly – but with all those around you, including family, work colleagues, etc.
‘Patterns’, or habits, created by past relationships and life experiences, influence the way people interact with each other in the present. Frequently, there is a lack of awareness of this, which can lead to great suffering as there is the sense of being ‘trapped’ in ways of behaviour which don’t get you where you want to be.
There are, of course, almost innumerable ways people attempt to deal with this situation. Therapies abound. Which way should you turn?
The method widely known as Family Constellations offers a unique approach, one which works in ways that are not yet fully understood, and yet which can be powerful and transformative.
Ed Rowland, a Director at the Centre for Systemic Constellations, says:
“Systemic (or Family) Constellations, based on the original work of Bert Hellinger and others, has demonstrated that we need to investigate the hidden connections with family members and past events to free ourselves from these ties in order to shake off these problems.
The Constellating method is a deeply moving approach to making long-term changes that tap into our true potential, to rediscover our flow in life. It is a systemic approach that explores these underlying dynamics in families, and other groups we are members of, to provide new understandings and fresh insight. Rather than looking at ourselves as separate individuals, we look at the web of relationship within the wider system, in conjunction with any significant events that have impacted on the family and its members, to provide a fuller picture of ourselves as part of our larger set of systems. The hidden and unexpected dynamics operating within the system are revealed, and addressed in a way that aims to find a healthy and respectful place for all members of the system in question.”
Ed has over 16 years’ experience in working with Constellations. As well as his ongoing work in the UK, he leads retreats at Cortijo Romero in Spain, where participants can benefit from the depth of his knowledge whilst enjoying a holiday in this peaceful mountain retreat centre. The benefits of being at the centre enable you to really get the most out of the course. Imagine being in a simple, Spanish-style room with just what you need for the week. Having delicious, fresh, healthy food served in abundance, while you enjoy meeting like-minded people, or taking time to yourself. Perhaps treating yourself to a massage. Exploring the unspoiled villages of the surrounding mountains. All of this facilitates a deeper possibility for just ‘being’, so that you can fully engage with the process being shared, and really benefit from some deep change and increased understanding.
Sarah Rozenthuler, who attended Ed’s course at Cortijo Romero last year, said it had a “Powerful, seamless dynamic design!” and that Ed as the course leader was “Excellent – gentle professional and loving.”
Family Constellations, 30 April – 7 May 2016
£650 – Book via the website or call +44 (0)1494 765 775
Interview with Ed Rowland: https://soundcloud.com/cortijo-romero/ed-rowland-cr